Written by: Niarobi Shahiid
OK…I’m sure you all have heard the old saying,”You can lie to everyone but yourself,” so it is under that pretense in which the following article is based upon. We are about to explore a very touchy subject and that is the subject of “body count.” No I’m not speaking of the recent surge of senseless violence we are experiencing as of lately. I mean body count as in how many sex partners you have encountered, like we say “back in the day”(I’ve heard people in their early twenties use this term…emhem…loosely). “Body count”…just the terminology itself sounds scary to me. It is a topic that should be taken seriously and analyzed in all truth. So please, be truthful to yourselves and your partners (preferably) on this subject. I mean everyone has a past…right?
How much does it really matter? I can see if your body count can fill up the cemetery in the backyard of the church, as well as the overflow spaces on the sides. We have no reason to worry about such a thing, I guess. I’m sure we are all good, decent people…faithful and loyal. Right? Otherwise, we may as well go and find our own spot in the backyard of the church! Ok, now that we have that out of the way…we may continue to get to the point of our discussion. How important is it to you how many partners a person has “bagged” (or body bagged) when it comes to finding an intimate partner?
I mean even men of renown, the patriarchs whom set the standards and laid the foundations for many of our now global religions were polygamists! Some had wives by the hundreds, the thousands even! (Although this was not the norm) The women however, were subjugated to only one man and she had to be a pure virgin or else she was executed for such a heinous crime…fornication! This was punishable by the penalty of death! Double standard as it may seem, that was the law of the land at that point in time. There was no need for a Maury or Springer! What DNA test? That’s another issue within itself though.
I am by no means implying that it is ok for men to have a higher body count, especially when new sexually transmitted diseases are being invented every decade or so. Then again, under the religious laws of yester years, if a man really and truly wanted a particular woman…he would’ve had to marry her! I’m just saying God had that part figured out! That is if you believe in His Wisdom. What have we sacrificed as a society in the name of equality and what are the results of such sacrifices? Would we even be having such discussions? I admit it does make life a bit more interesting though.
Judge not…seems to be a popular theme in our society. After all, when you point your fingers towards someone else, you have three fingers and a thumb curling right back at you! Can we expect someone else to live up to the standards in which we are unable to uphold ourselves? It is a discussion worth having with your partner, but should you come from a judgmental stand point? Who cares about the whispering and snickering of others behind your back because of whom you have chosen to love? As long as your companion has exhibited the capacity to love and nurture you in a way satisfying to your soul and lives up to your standards…who cares what they say? Most people whisper about others to keep the attention off of their very own issues anyways. Besides, people do change.
Man was created from dirt and women from the rib bone, therefore men will always be a little dirty and women a little crooked. Yes, I said it! Burn me at the stakes later! First, allow me to explain…The rib bone is not a straight bone and if you put too much pressure into bending it in attempts to straighten it out, surely it will break! So…accept the rib bone for what it is and what it does. Appreciate the fact that it is the protector of our delicate vital organs! What about dirt though? Who likes getting dirty? But without dirt, how else would the beautiful flowers grow? Where would the trees take root? How would we produce the foods we eat to nourish ourselves? With that being said, keep in mind that no one is perfect! We have all sinned and have fallen short. Therefore we must also appreciate the dirt for the benefits it bestows upon us…but keep in mind that certain dirt stains can never be washed away!
Either side of the coin, the facts remain the same that this should be of concern to us all as we embark on our journeys into monogamy. Why? Some may ask. I’ll attempt to explain this to your rational thinking mind. Statistically, we as African Americans have a higher percentage of HIV/AIDS and many other sexually transmitted diseases…including HPV, which has been shown to be a leading cause to cervical and ovarian cancer. Yes, HPV can be transferred through sexual contact and it has not been proven to have adverse health effects on males. Ladies…that one wrong episode that your partner may have had in his past can eventually become your cancer of the future…I mean really think about that one…we can’t rule out Herpes either. Although Herpes has fallen below the radars since everyone seems to be on the lookout for HIV, Herpes has remained a problem within our society. Herpes has no cure, so be careful out there. As we all should know, HIV can go years without any symptoms, especially if your partner has not been tested. You cannot look at someone and come up with a proper health diagnosis. Please rely only on the diagnosis of a true health care professional.
Get tested! Sure everyone has a past and may deserve a chance at love, but use your rational thinking mind in your decision making process…or else you may just end up being another body tucked off discretely in someone else’s body count!